Stuck
by KikiMiki
Summary: This story is based on my life. It's got a lot changed, and obvioulsy I had to leave a lot out, but the feelings are genuine. Names are all fictional, and so are most of the events. This is my experience in marching band, and how it's changed me. :)
1. Default Chapter

            Stuck. Ever been there? Trapped between two lives, maybe more. Everywhere you go you have to put on a new face. And they expect you to be able to handle it; they expect you to deal with all of it. There's social life, school life, school work, family, boys, chores, and maybe a job. 

            Confused. Come on now, I know you've been there. It's called the "teen years." Trying to figure out a world that doesn't make sense to begin with. Trying to make sense of people who are impossible to figure out. People can drive a person crazy, and quite often do push people over the edge. You try to please all of them to get by in life, but pleasing one means upsetting another. Try fixing that one. 

            Trust? What is trust? Is it belief? Belief in the truth? There's no such thing. Try to follow me here: If an event, a story, or a person appears to be a certain way, you accept that as truth. Your truth is your opinion. Truth is appearance because, no matter what the "real" truth is, you're going to go on believing what you want until maybe when you are given a reason not to anymore. And that's just maybe. You'll continue to do the things you do, act the way you act, and think the things you think, based on the way you perceive things: your truth. Didn't your mother ever tell you not to trust appearances? Therefore truth, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Whatever happened to not judging a book by its cover?

            But life goes on, in its own semi-twisted sort of way. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those who hate life. On the contrary, I see it as quite the challenge. Sort of a surprise behind every door if you will. Well, at least some parts of life. Others you just have to accept as hopeless and move on to bigger and better things. 

            Enough spouting, I'm Lexi Donner. Gees, I hate that name. I'm 5'9'', 16 years old. I have dark brown hair that flips out at my shoulders. My eyes are deep brown. My friends call me all sorts of things: Lexi, Lex, Lexinator, but mostly Kiki (a nickname I acquired from Julia Roberts in "American Sweethearts"). If you're wondering what makes me think the way I do, boy are you in for a ride! My family would tell you not to bother trying to figure me out. "She's a teenager, they do this!" My friends would tell you, "That's just the way she is! She's Kiki!" But I know I think this way because of a strange but exciting conglomeration of life altering events that have found their way haphazardly into my life. You judge for yourself. But for now, to begin…

            Everything started to happen as I got into high school. See, before high school. I was a quiet little girl. I kept to myself. I always got my schoolwork done, and always got good grades. I was the teachers' favorite. I never had many friends, although it was something I always wanted with my whole heart. Strangely though, I always had a best friend. 

            My whole life has been one big series of best friends. They never last because either I move schools of they mess me over. Let's see. I've been friends with Kristen since 3rd grade. But during my sixth grade year Kristen, very suddenly, moved to California. It was then that I became best friends with Christy Russo.  We were attached at the hip, but halfway through eighth grade, Christy decided to be friends with my older sister Rebecca. Not just friends, best friends. Let me give you a hint: Rebecca was 16; she had her license and more male friends than I had ever hoped of having. Well, that was Russo for you. Good reddens. Although that was a terrible point in m life, it was okay at the same time, because it led me to being friends with a different Christy. Christy Jenkins.

            Christy Jenkins and I were a rather interesting pair. Actually we met late one night because Christy called my cell, "Oops, wrong number!" But her accent evoked a conversation. See, Christy was Australian. Her father was getting married to an English woman who lived here in the States. Christy was living in an apartment waiting for the ceremony to take place. She was a freshman in high school, only a year older than me. We hit thinks off really well. We talked on the phone nearly every night, but always late, after everyone had gone to bed. We had four or five hour conversations about anything we wanted, and had an unconditional trust for one another from the start. But that all started to change as Christy became closer with her new English stepsister, Emily.

            Well by this time eighth grade was nearly over anyway, and Kristen had moved back from California! So when a colossal fight broke out over Christy between Emily and me, I just went back to being best friends with Kristen. We never got to be as good of friends as before she left though. She had changed somehow in that short amount of time. And she seemed to be running with a different crowd. Never the less, it was my good old Kristen. The one who had rescued me when I was dangling from the "big kids" monkey bars way back in third grade. 

            Despite these and many other battles through various best friends I really was a pretty withdrawn girl. I played clarinet since fourth grade and was really quite good at it. But up until high school, band was just another easy "A" on my report card. However it's like I said: high school changed everything for me. 


	2. Stuck Chpt 2

I remember it like it was yesterday. The summer before freshman year was almost over. The temperatures outside in the scorching Arizona weather were pushing 115F, and I had to go to a "band meeting" to get all the information on band camp. Wow, that was coming up in just a week. Now, you have to understand, when I imagined a high school band room, I imagined this huge room, with lockers for every instrument, padded ceilings to soak up the sound, an office for the director, and a water fountain for our parched throats (after all this is Arizona). I was so mistaken.

            I arrived at the unfamiliar school and was escorted by a creepy senior to this small little auto-shop garage. 

            "The _real band room in under construction," he explained. "Welcome to the band garage." And that is exactly what it was too. Power cords dangled from the ceiling. A rusty sink took up space in the front of the room. Even a garage door decorated the oh, so pitiful room. There were hundreds of plaques and awards hanging all over the room, trying very hard to cover many monstrous holes in the walls. I would later find out that the band had created these gaping holes. Go figure: If not the auto-shop class, then a band would definitely be my second demolition team choice!_

            I was thrust into this little room with sixty unfamiliar faces. Gee, but they all seemed to know each other! They were busy chattering away about their summers, and inside jokes from last year. Then one girl started talking about how upset she had been when the band had received only an 89% at state marching band competition last year.

            _Marching band? I'd nearly forgotten. Oh the ultimate blow! Marching band? A bunch of geek spread randomly across a football field blowing obnoxiously into a piece of wood or metal. Joy! __Oh well, I thought, __there's no backing out now! Besides, if begging Mom and Dad to let me quit hasn't worked yet, it'll never work!_

_            The director was new this year. Mr. Stevens. Boy was he a piece of work. H was tall and very thin, and had a stooped over body (not the typical musician's posture). His elbows practically rested on his knees. The man was obviously young, 30, maybe. But he has a bald spot right on top of his brown haired head. And interestingly enough, he also had a funny little patch of red hair right in the center of his head. He was a goofy looking guy, to say the least. But he seemed to care about what he was doing. _

            As the room quieted down, three creepy seniors made their way to the front of the room. They stood there behind Stevens, who sat stooped over on a stool behind a large metal music stand. Something about the seniors held my attention. One of the three was a girl, a very adorable girl with curly blonde hair, whom I would later learn was named Nicole. The other two were boys, very similar in looks. Tall and skinny, with dark hair and eyes, neither one of these boys smiled. This was Eddie and Nathan. 

            Those three seniors stood in a position that I though would surely break their necks if they were half as stiff as they appeared to be. Their feet were shoulder width apart, back straight as it could be, chin up in a dignified manner. Their arms were placed in front of them, meeting at the hands, left had over right, up against their bodies. Their eyes were straight forward. They didn't move. Not _once! Not once during the entire hour we spent in the sizzling hot little room. And even if just their eyes moved it was to glare at a returning member of the band, with a disapproving stare that would make even the devil shrink to the size of a pea. And let me tell you, anyone who got glared at sure started paying attention to the meeting and fast! __Gees, another wonderful aspect to marching band, I uttered to myself. _

            Rehearsal went smoothly enough. We played though a few songs placed in front of us. Stevens told us what we would need to have with us at band camp. He also explained to us his strict punctuality policy. "To be early is to be on time, to be on time if to be late, and to be late is to be left behind." Which roughly translated from Stevens' talk means: be there 30 minutes earlier than he tells you to, _or else. Oh joy!_

            Well gee, it really wasn't _that bad, now that I'm thinking back on it. But it was sure a shocking and scary experience then! Well there was one girl who was nice to me. Josephine Liu. Everyone called her Jo. She was the clarinet "section leader". Meaning she was there to keep me and the other clarinetists in line and make sure we had all the music and everything else we needed. _

            I didn't know what to expect from of band camp. And those three creepy "drum majors" as they called them, they sure were creepy! Stevens had explained during the meeting that the three of them were mini-versions of him. When they say jump you ask how high? And when they tell you how high, you jump even higher! _Come on people! It's just marching band! Do you really expect a bunch of immature high school students to take orders from other high school students? Besides that, the drum majors are in charge of conducting the songs we play while on the football field. __Right!_

            Well, band camp came soon enough. Let me tell you, waking up at five in the morning, to get on a two hour bus ride with 60 some odd band kids was the most interesting experience I had had in my life, up until that point, but that would soon change. 


	3. Stuck Chpt 3

It was still scary, being there with all those strangers, but they all seemed so accepting. They all wanted to talk to everyone, including us lowly freshmen. They asked if we had gotten our class schedules yet, and told us which teachers to look out for! And gees, even those scary drum majors seemed really personable!

            Conversation was as plentiful as it was diverse on the bus ride to camp. People talked about summer, instruments, band in general, families, nicknames, lunch, cameras, pets, and bio warfare. A few people were involved in some pretty intense religious discussions, and others talked about the books they had read over the summer for their advanced English classes. But I think what grabbed my attention the most was the conversation taking place a few seats ahead of me. Eddie the drum major was being harassed by a group of girls. The issue: Eddie shaved his legs. The girls' complaint: Eddie's legs were smoother than theirs. Eddie's justification: he has to shave his legs, he plays baseball! Apparently tight pants and leg hair just don't mix!

            Wow, were these people ever strange. As the trip progressed even stranger conversations started. I began to feel extremely comfortable, and was able to be myself, something I had never been able to do my entire like. It hit me that these people were very kind, accepting, and down right funny and interesting people. What were they doing in high school marching band? They all even seemed to care about the band too!

            Finally we arrived at camp. Ah, cool, fresh mountain air, pine trees, and cabins. I was used to a huge city, a man-made little bubble of heat, smog, and suffering. Once off the bus we continued conversations. I was sitting with a group of people under the shade of a tall pine tree. There were several other freshmen with us. 

            We relaxed for a few minutes and stretched our legs. Suddenly, as if from no where, came a low barking noise. "BARK! BARK BARK!" It sounded almost human! And in turn, just as suddenly as the noise itself, every single returning member snapped into what they called "attention."

            They stood motionless with their heals together, feat spread to a 45 degree angle. Their backs were straight and stiff, shoulders pulled back, arms to their side, slightly bent at the elbow. Their hands balled up into little fists, their thumbs rested at the seams of their pants. Their chins were up in that same dignified position, eyes again focused straight forward, not on anything in particular, just forward, and not moving. The freshman pathetically tried to mimic this position, not a single soul talking or moving. None of us understood what had happened. But we knew they meant business. Not knowing the specifics however, made for a poor imitation from the freshman.

            Then the three drum majors, who had been standing at the front of the crowd the entire time, dropped attention and began to circle around the band members very intently. They corrected several people's positions as they went along. The drum majors had reverted hack to creepiness without even breaking a sweat. It was now that I realized that the barking sound had come from one of them. _Some sort of command, I supposed._

            The director started calling out names, and people would run to him and take a name tag he held out for them. Boy did they run. After they had the name tag, they ran to the drum majors. Who placed them into straight lines. Eventually we were all put into the lines, and there we stood for several awkward minutes, in that back aching position. Then the teaching began. 

            We were taught a new position called "stand-by", as well as the "attention". Stand-by was a more relaxed position, it was in fact the very position that the creepy drum majors had been standing in at the first meeting. The barking sound from earlier was, as I supposed, the vocal command that would take the band out of stand-by and into attention. 

            Immediately following one of the drum majors calls to attention the band was expected to respond with a low and loud "HUT!" "Ladies, do your best," Eddie said with a smirk on his face. I'm sure that one didn't go over too well with some of the returning girls. We were instructed to make the hut sound guttural, and low as possible, but we were supposed to yell it. When a 60 piece band executes this vocal response at the same time, the effect is amazing. And it is the first impression a judge at a competition will have of the band as a whole. 

            "BAND! TEN HUT!" The exercise was repeated over and over. I was so thankful for the gentle breeze and cooler weather. There was even a little cloud cover, it looked like rain! After what seemed like an eternity it became almost second nature, the snap from position to position. And yet we drilled on. When we were finally allowed to relax we were exhausted. 

            This was not at all what I had expected from marching band! It seemed more like a military! If Stevens or the drum majors ever asked us a question (as a group or individually) that required a yes or no answer, we were expected to respond with a loud, low, and firm "YES SIR!" or "NO SIR!"

            We were given our cabin assignments and told to go get settled in, lunch would be soon. Once in the cabins a senior informed me not to loose my name tag, or they'd make me sing in front of everybody at breakfast to get it back! Boy, could this day get any better? I tossed my heavy duffel on the top bunk by a window. The room had five bunk beds, and the ten girls in my cabin were really pretty cozy and snug.

            People seemed pretty much at home here at the camp. The returning member reminisced about previous camps. I found myself enjoying their tales. They talked about the games we would be playing every night. Also, they talked about the last night of camp, when every section has to perform a skit instead of playing games. They talked about the aching, the sweating, and how good the stale, probably rotting mattress would feel after another few hours of working. I started to feel comfortable again, like I had on the bus.

            Before I knew it an hour had passed, and it was time for our meeting before lunch. Man was I hungry! A bunch of girls brought some of us freshman over to the meeting place, a field where we would be doing most of our work. There had been a field cleared from the forest, just the size of a football field, and just a few steps beyond the sidelines was thick pine trees. This really was a nice change from the city. 

            At 11:30, Stevens promptly started his meeting. He was just starting to talk about not wandering off on any of the hiking trails without someone knowing where you would be, when a group of four sophomore boys came running from the direction of the cabins. "To be late is to be left."


	4. Stuck Chpt 4

The boys apologized, saying they lost track of time. Nicole looked at the boys and said, "This is your first warning, there won't be another," obviously loud enough for us all to hear. "Give me ten and then fall in line."

            "Yes sir," yelled the red faced, panting boys, practically on the ground already doing push-ups. _Wow, so this is marching band. The boys rubbed their hands clean on their pants and then turned and ran to the back of the crowd. We were all relaxed, standing comfortably. Those boys however, stood at stand-by for the rest of the meeting._

            After this little performance Stevens began again. Next order of business: band buddies. Every freshman would be assigned to a junior or senior as their "band buddy." This person would answer your questions, help you find your way around camp, they'd even eat meals with you, if you so desired. They were basically your new best friend.

            "LEXI DONNER," Nathan yelled.

            "Here… sir!" _Do I always have to call him sir?_

            "Jo Liu, she's all yours."

            Oh good! At least I knew her! And it wasn't a boy! And thank God it wasn't one of the creepy male drum majors, I felt sorry for their band buddies.

            After all the band buddies were assigned Stevens started down his warning list. Cake yourself in sunscreen. Don't wander off. Drink lots of water. And don't lock your knees. What? Don't lock me knees? Why no—

            "BAND! TEN HUT!" The command roared out from Nicole this time.

            "Hut?"

            "Well that was pathetic," Nathan mocked us. "Come on, this is the first impression your audience will have of you. I want to hear you scream! BAND! TEN HUT!"

            "HUT!"

            "Dinner starts in 15 minutes," Stevens stated. "According to my watch it is 11:45. If I were you I'd get there early." A long pause followed, with not a single person moving. "Dismissed!" 

            At that sound ever shoulder and chin on the field dropped. We all stumbled to find our band buddies. Jo and I knew each other, which made it easier. This was the first time I really got to get to knew Jo. She was my section leader, but she was so shy, quiet and withdrawn. Except when she was with Nicole. She seemed to loosen up around her. 

            Jo and I hurried over to the cafeteria. Jo was slender and a few inches shorter than me. She had long black hair, which she wore in a pony tail. Her eyes were brown, and she had a cute little button nose. Jo was oriental. Actually she was born in China. Pretty cool, huh? She seemed awesome to me. 

            Jo asked me how I liked band so far. I told her all the drilling made me nervous, I was always afraid of messing up, and it wasn't at all what I had expected. I mean, marching band was always thought of as those dorky kids with the taped up glasses, who wear goofy uniforms that never actually fit, with a funny looking hat and a plume on top. _This marching band seemed hard, it took a lot of concentration and team effort. I told her it was new, but for some reason I enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed the people, and being able to be myself around them. Jo told me I'd get used to all of the "yes sir"-ing and the "huts!" She explained there would be a lot more to learn as the camp wore on. She told me not to be scared of the drum majors. They were here to help, even if they did it in a very disciplinary fashion. Jo warned me not to cross them, or back talk. Just do exactly as told and I'd do fine._

            _Wow, here's a girl I hardly met a week ago, who is talking to me like she's known me for months. She could have spent this time with her close friends from last year, instead she took time to tell me how to survive the horrors of marching band. Jo had a good sense of humor, and she seemed to think I was cool too. I took an immediate liking to her. I had an ally! My new band buddy and I trotted off to the cafeteria talking and laughing the whole way there. _

            The cafeteria looked a lot like the cabins, except it had been painted red. The entire campus was wood, but very well built. It was an old camp, you could tell by the appearance of the beds, and the weather worn paint coat on the cafeteria. The trees in the camp were very tall and bushy, and had obviously been there for quite some time. Pine cones and needles littered the ground, even in the cabins. Everywhere we walked we made little crunching noises. Little concrete pathways had been cleared, serving as a walkway from the cabins to the cafeteria, and the cafeteria to the gym. The gym also had a rustic look, topped off by the battered basket balls hoops the christened either side of the court. The stands on the sidelines were wood and very well kept. 

            Jo and I got in line at the cafeteria. Meals were served buffet style. Everyone picked up a tray and moved down the line, collecting the food they desired. Jo and I gathered our meals and headed for a table of girls.

            The topic at our end of the long table was the color guard skit. If you have ever been to a football game, you've probably at least noticed the band. Did you ever notice the girls who are separate from the band, who twirl and toss flags and batons? That's the color guard. Some people say the band showcases the color guard. The color guard says they showcase the band. The color guard girls are very spunky and very full of energy. Their section leader is known as the captain of the guard. The girls were working on an awesome dance routine to perform on skit night.

            As they talked I noticed a familiar face sitting a ways down the table. It was Sidney. I had known Sidney since sixth grade. We had always been friends through mutual friends, but I don't think we'd ever had a conversation outside of lunch hour at school. Sidney was a skinny little brunette, with green eyes and a huge smile. She always wore her hair in a messy bun, and wore thick obnoxious shoes. The reason I was so surprised to see Sid was that she had never been in band. In fact, she was a choir girl. _Oh, Sidney's sister was the instructor for the color guard. __Oh, ok, she's just on guard, that makes sense.   _

            Sid and I said hello and expressed our surprise to see each other. 

            "Well, what do you think so far?"  Sidney asked, twirling her hair around a finger, and taking a bite of her salad. 

            "It's not what I had expected, but it seems cool. Did you see those guys who showed up late?"

            "Yeah. Pretty harsh. It gets worse though. My sis warned me. Don't swear! They make you do push-ups for that too!" Well there's a warning I should listen too. 

            After lunch we had about an hour to go back to the cabins and get ready. We followed the little path, and one of the girls commented on how the boys' bunks were in the cabin right next to ours. That ought to be interesting. In the cabins the girls rolled out their sleeping bags and gathered a stash of candy everyone had brought as a food source. _Alright! I don't have to eat too much camp food!_

_            The girls also started to lather on sunscreen. I hadn't brought any with me. I thought I would be fine; I never burn, besides it was cloudy outside! Nicole offered me her sunscreen, telling me I really would want it, but scared of imposing on the drum major, I politely refused. Everyone in the room looked at me like I was insane. __Oops!_

            "What? I don't burn!"

            In a few minutes we were on our way to the field. We got there about 15 minutes early with a stop at the cafeteria to fill up our water bottles. I noticed once we got to the field, that the drum majors were all wearing whistles around their necks and white leather gloves. _Shoot, were we all supposed to have gloves? As I knelt on the ground sloppily assembling my clarinet, I watched the three drum majors discussing business. __Gees that made me nervous! As they talked they pointed to each other and then a random place on the field. __Huh, strange. _


	5. Stuck Chpt 5

With our 15 minutes to spare before the marching lesson started, a few of the girls discussed our cabin assignments. One senior demanded that our bunk play a "bunk game" tonight. A few of the boys came over to talk to us, and again I noticed someone familiar. Only this person and I were a little bit more familiar. 

            The face I recognized was Mike Jarmen. Mike and I had quite a history. In fact, he was one of the best friends my life included. Mike and I had dated in 7th and 8th grade, and after breaking up we remained very close friends. Mike was a person I could talk to about anything. I didn't have anyone else like that, not even Kristen and I could talk like that anymore. I talked to him about me problems with my family, with Christy Russo and my sister, school, and even boys. Mike was always there for me, and I never entirely got over him after we broke up. Probably because he was my first boyfriend. But whatever the reason I was glad he was there.

            Mike had bright orange hair, and green eyes. He was about my height, and considering that he was a football player he was a thick guy. He wasn't over weight though. The only think pudgy about Mike was his adorable dimples. Mike had an awesome smile, although it was a rare treat for him to actually use it. Mike was a quiet guy around most people, but he really was a sweetheart. 

            "BAND! TEN HUT!" 

            "…hut?" We snapped to attention, but boy did we mess up that hut. I looked around, wondering what we were supposed to do if we messed up like that. Some of the others looked too. 

            "Everyone that just moved owes me ten! Now!" Eddie yelled.

            "Yes sir," we yelled dropping to the ground like flies_. Ew, I can't do push-ups! Oh well, I did my best!_

            "Stand-by!" Every time they gave us that command you would hear a shuffle of feet as people dragged their right foot out away from their left.     

"BAND! TEN HUT!" 

"HUT!" _Ha! That time we got some people jogging to turn and look because we startled them.  __Heh, that was cool. _

            Eddie, Nicole, and Nathan began their circling again. I was back at attention now, and I had to try very hard not to let my eyes follow the drum majors. Within five minutes the bottoms of my feet were burning. Every now and then a fly would land on a person, and I could see them twitch through the corner of my eyes. Using peripheral vision was a skill one learned very well on the field. 

            Stevens explained that we'd be dividing up into smaller groups to learn marching basics. _Basics?__ There are basics? Does that mean there are more than just basics? Eddie was in charge of my group. Oh great. He called us to attention and then started rambling about how to pull your instrument up, so that the mouth piece is eye level, and keeping you elbows in, and making sure that your chin was up, eyes forward. Holding the clarinet at attention felt awkward. I couldn't have my hands at my sides, both hands had to be on the instrument. So I had to keep the mouthpiece so high that it was eye level, the instrument stood perpendicular to the ground. It was different, but like everything else, I got used to it. _

            Ok, but now I have another problem, with my instrument straight out in front of me like that, perpendicular to the ground, how am I supposed to play it? _You know, playing it involves putting it in your mouth, that's something these guys should know! Oh great, here it comes. Another new command._

            "Band! Horns up!" Eddie barked. We were all supposed to snap our wrists and bring out instruments right to our faces_. I'll be lucky if I don't whack myself in the face every time I try to do this, I thought. The more Eddie repeated this drill, the more natural it felt. Eddie kept telling us to keep the movement crisp, and snappy, just like the snap from stand-by to attention. It had to be quick and impressive, another plus the judges looked for. If the whole band did it right in time, it also was an awesome effect. _

            Oh, and next we learned how to march! That little lesson took forever! The idea of marching forward was that our upper bodies needed to stay in the exact attention position, and while we are marching, your body shouldn't bounce, because otherwise your sound will bounce while playing. Judges don't like that! 

            In order to create this glide like movement we had to learn about a little thing called "toe-pull".  We learned to take what would be a normal step, but raise our toes so high that someone could read words written on the bottoms of our shoes. That is toe-pull.  Then we roll forward on our foot, and it creates the glide if you can balance yourself correctly. 

            Now the other thing we had to learn was what we call and 8 to 5 step. For every 5 yards on a football field, a person is supposed to take 8 steps. Each step has to be the same size. _Not too hard, just a matter of readjusting step sizes. _

            Well those little lessons lasted for two and a half hours. We had a few water breaks, but we were parched! Jo told me that we'd learn to march backwards tomorrow, and boy was that a killer on your calves. My shins already ached from toe-pull. 

            Dinner came around soon enough. We were talking about the day's activities when Nicole turned to me and pulled up the sleeve of my shirt. I looked like a lobster! _Ouch! Yeah, sunscreen tomorrow! Sidney laughed and said she thought I looked more like a strawberry than anything else. _

            "Hey! Jo! You up for that nature hike sometime this camp? I hear the trails up here are amazing," said a tall, pudgy senior trumpet player named Cameron. 

            "Maybe sometime," Jo smiled as she answered. She leaned over to me once Cameron had left and told me to "watch out for that one, trumpets are trouble".  I had already noticed that, Cameron seemed to be the loudest one in camp, and he loved to be a trouble maker.


	6. Stuck Chpt 6

After dinner we had a music rehearsal. It was cold, but I didn't wear a jacket. The breeze felt good on my fried skin. Stevens made fun of me for it too! He seemed to like to make fun of us students. Rehearsal went smoothly enough though. The drum majors were no where to be seen. "Having a sectional," someone had said. 

            Eddie sat at my table at dinner that night. He found my sun burnt situation rather hilarious. He said he did the same thing his freshman year. "A rookie's mistake." He told me the girls would be more than willing to lend me some sunscreen if I didn't have any. _Oh wow, a human side to him. I guess this was when I fully grasped the concept that a drum major on the field was completely separate from a drum major off the field. But when they meant business, they sure meant business._

            An hour sped by, and rehearsal was almost over. It was pitch black outside, and it was getting colder by the minute. We could see the lightning in the distance, and when we weren't playing our instruments we counted how long it took for the sound of the thunder to reach us. The outdoor ramada where we rehearsed was well lit, but that posed another problem: moths. Swarms of moths. These were moths the size of birds, and it was almost like the got a kick out of swooping down at us like bats.  Then the rain started. Lucky thing we were under the ramada. Ok, well now I wished I had a jacket. But rehearsal was almost over, and then we'd be heading into the nice warm gym for games. 

            The rest of the night went by in a flash. I remember laughing so hard that my stomach hurt and my eyes welled up with tears. My muscles ached and my skin was burning, but I almost didn't want the night to end. 

            Jo and I trudged along in the rain and mud on the way back to the cabin. We were mostly silent as we walked; our heads were down, we had to watch the slippery uneven ground. I had a huge smile planted on my face, and every now and then I'd laugh remembering something that had happened earlier that day. Crickets chirped, stars shone bright, and a low but constant breeze chilled us to the bone as we plowed on. The rain wasn't coming down too hard, but I remember wishing it would pour. I love the rain! A small black cat sat on the porch of the cafeteria, looking very upset with the idea of getting wet. 

            I took my eyes off the ground for a moment and noticed Eddie trudging along a few feet ahead of us. I laughed again, more noticeably this time, at the though of Eddie's shaved legs.  Jo turned and looked at me. Jo has this look she uses, a look that says "how stupid are you?" Her eyes widen and she drops her bottom jaw just a little bit, a smile plays on the corners of her mouth. Sometimes she'll even mouth the words, "Oh my gosh! What's wrong with you?" I laughed loudly when I saw her do this. She immediately smiled and laughed, and I half tripped over a rock on the path. Both of us put our eyes back on the ground.

            "I was jus thinking about the bus ride." I said in my defense.

            "Mhmm," Jo said, with a mocking tone. 

            "I had fun today."

            "Mhmm," she responded, with the same mocking quality.

            "I did," I exclaimed, eyes widened wondering how she could mock that statement. There was a pause, and Jo and I kept walking. Then she kicked a rock and pushed a chunk of her hair out of her face. 

            "How could that surprise you," Jo asked. She looked over at me. I stopped walking. I paused for a moment and thought. Jo stopped a few steps ahead and turned around to watch me. _Because no one ever likes me, or treats me as an equal, or ever wants anything to do with me, I thought.         _

            "I don't remember," I lied, grinning a devilish little smile, as I ran my first few steps to catch up with Jo. We walked a few more steps, the rain coming down faster every second. She leaned over and nudged me with her shoulder, and we took off running the rest of the way back to the cabin, laughing the whole way there. When we passed Eddie, he looked at us like we were crazy. 

            By the time we got back to the cabin we were soaked, and out of breath from laughing. It was strange dealing with people like Jo as if I'd known them for years. I was restless that night, although no one else seemed to be. Everyone else was exhausted. My bed squeaked whenever I moved though, so I lay on my side and stared out the window. I thought about how my day had been, and how incredible it all seemed. I thought about the days ahead of me, and how much I had to look forward to. After what seemed like forever I drifted off into a deep, sound sleep, one of those that you never want to wake up from. 

            When I woke up the next morning I could only feel pain. Pain and cold overtook my body. Oh, it was freezing. I saw the girl on the top bunk next to me rub her eyes and stretch. I yawned. Then we realized, at the exact same moment, that we were the first ones up. We leaped off the beds and ran for the showers. I couldn't wait to feel that nice warm water! _Ouch! Too hot!_

_            Camp wore on this way for a couple of days. Every morning we had calisthenics, then breakfast. After breakfast we had an hour before a two hour marching session. Then there was more free time before lunch. After lunch we would have another two or three hour marching lesson. Music rehearsals were later that night, after dinner. After rehearsal we gathered in the gym for games. Some days it rained, other days the sun shone brightly, although most days it was a combination of both. People were just as accepting as they had ever been. It was like we were all new best friends. And the work ethics were amazing. Sure we all complained about our aching muscles and sunburns when we were back in the cabins, but on the field we were machines. _

            We were trained to march forwards, backwards, sideways, diagonally in a box, in a circle, and in octagons. We learned step sizing and how to stay in line with everyone else. We learned more new commands, and the correct vocal response with each of them. 

            By skit night I had learned so much I thought my head would explode. By now I had discovered the many clicks, and classifications people put in the band. I could tell you what a person was like based on what instrument the play or what year they are in high school. In fact, that was how we referred to each other. There was "Mike the baritone", or "Jeff the freshman alto-sax", or "Kiki the clarinet". Sometimes we even added an extra few adjectives. There was "Cameron, the really, really obnoxious trumpet"! 

            Camp seemed to have flown by, the final night was here. I didn't have a jacket because we had held the music rehearsal in doors that night. I was fine though, because we all huddled together in the small gym. Everyone was in an exceptionally good mood that night. First off it was skit night, and plus it was the last night of camp! We'd be leaving tomorrow right after lunch! 

            Nicole leaned over and told me I'd love the skits, they're one of the best parts of camp. Although I doubted that that was possible, I was looking forward to the color guard skit! They had been practicing all camp! And they'd made such a big deal out of it! Nicole told me I would love the senior girl's skit. Every section did their own skit, senior girls did one, and in past years drum majors did one. 

            First up were the piccolos (normally the flutes, but they played the piccolo for marching band). Piccolos are the prim and proper gals. They're some of the best musicians in the band. They're always on top of everything, and have been the directors' favorites since I was in fourth grade. Their skit was nothing special though. But then neither was ours.

            Clarinets are the only instruments that don't fit in a stereotype. We have a stereotype of our own almost. Some clarinets are the loudest people ever, like I had been these past few days. Others of us wouldn't talk to save their lives. Some of the clarinets are the most down to earth people in the band, others are definitely weird. Almost half of the clarinets are care a ton about the band, and are always out there trying their hardest! Others are the laziest people on the field. I think that's why the clarinets are the section that never really gets noticed. No one care here us on the field in any case. We don't function as a section, and no one expects us to, we're the clarinets. 

            Nest came the saxes. Saxophone players always have, and always will think they're extremely cool. And if you don't know it, then what planet are you from? Something about the jazz stereotype put on their instrument makes them feel the need to act the way they do. They're loud, and pretty wild, but of course there are always the exceptions. 

            Jeff was this section's exception. Jeff was a red head sax player who didn't hold himself in higher respects because of the instrument he plays. He was the kind of guy who would sit for hours listening to a girl ramble about her problems. He was always around, but no one seemed to mind. He was sweet and very soft spoken at first. But Jeff was a barrel full of surprises once you got him going. For instance: the sax skit ended with Jeff performing the perfect splits, something he'd learned in his years of dancing. 

            Next up: percussion.


	7. Stuck Chpt 7

Oh, percussion are weird. They're the only section I know that uses their instrument as anger management. They're usually beatnik or gothic, skater or maybe just plain weird. Their section gets up every morning at five, and goes outside to learn "sticking techniques".  Percussionists are the only people I know who have ever threatened to beat up someone with their instrument, except one weird trumpet player. But that involved a coat hanger and 12 white lab mice, which was a long story. But most the most important thing to understand about percussion is that they hate band. The only thing they hate more than band is the band director, and band isn't that far behind. 

            The percussion skit consisted of noise. It started with one guy sitting in a metal folding chair in the middle of the court. He sat down and started dragging his stick across a huge water cooler. Soon, another percussionist came out. The first guy dropped his stick in curiosity, and walked over to the second. 

            "Paul," he asked very uneasily. The two drummers did what appeared to be a secret hand shake, and the first exclaimed, "Paul!" The first percussionist then returned to his stick and water jug. The second percussionist proceeded to pull a pair of sticks out of his baggy pants and bang on the gym floor with them. 

            Suddenly, a third guy walked out, dragging an old broken down camp vacuum behind him. Both of the first percussionists dropped their sticks in fear. The first percussionist sprinted to the new comer and asked in panic, "Paul?" The third performed the same secret hand shake. The three percussionists looked at the stands and said in unison, "PAUL!"

            The first two percussionists picked up their sticks and go back to their noise making. The third sees this, watched for a moment, obviously in deep concentration. After a few moments he shrugs and began running frantically around the court. As he ran he dragged the vacuum along behind him. Of course the broken down vacuum created quite a raucous and got many laughs from the stands. 

            Sure enough, out popped percussionists numbers four and five, brandishing two basket balls. The first two percussionists again dropped their sticks in unison. The fellow with the vacuum heard this and stopped in his tracks, which sent the vacuum soaring across the gym. 

            "PAUL?" The three percussionists screamed. Again hand shakes were given, and again identity was confirmed. This pattern continued over and over, each time a new Paul appeared, each time Paul had something new to create noise with. Eventually all 8 percussionists were on the court jamming to a syncopated rhythm with their seemingly useless noise makers. The performance ended with a big bash and the guy with the vacuum nearly killing himself. See? Strange. 

            Low brass was next. What is there to say about low brass? Well this skit included trombones, baritones, sousaphones, and horns, although horns aren't a part of low brass. Trombones are zombies. Tubas are full of it, or full of themselves. Baritones are weird. Horns are just plain obnoxious. Yeah, low brass is pretty… out there. 

            Ha, finally! Color guard was up. Color guard girls are fun, but they often live up to their ditzy reputation. They're the spunkiest members of the group, and coffee and color guard do not mix. The skit was awesome though, the dance was totally on. Everyone was impressed. 

            Next came the trumpet. Boy are they a piece of work. Life is a game to them, and they're the most important ones in it. They're fun to be around most of the time, but they tend to say hurtful things. Either they do it on purpose or they just don't realize it. Trumpet players are the goof offs of the bunch. An awesome trumpet player at a high school level is one in a million, but when you have one, your band has it made.  Trumpets tend to take music whatever speed they want; making entrances where ever they please, and playing just as loud as they can. They also like to blame it on the saxophones.

            The trumpet skit was as out there as expected.  It consisted of Cameron sitting in the middle of the court on a folding chair. He wrapped a towel around his head, and put up a sign that read: "Shoe Gypsy". The shoe gypsy then proceeded to call "volunteers" from the audience. The first volunteer, a freshman trumpet, walked uneasily up to the gypsy, who held out his hand in an expectant manner. The volunteer gave the gypsy a high five. The gypsy looked at the young trumpet player like he was a moron. He pointed his fellow section member's shoe, and again placed out his hand in an expectant manner. The freshman uneasily obeyed, handing over his shoe to the senior. The gypsy then proceeded to study the shoe very carefully. He even took a long sniff of the sweaty old marching sneaker, causing many laughs and groans of disgust from the audience. 

            "You will die alone and unhappy, but not until you have squandered your father's fortune," announced the gypsy. The poor freshman ripped his shoe away and stormed back to the stands. The audience roared with laughter. "Alright! Silence," the gypsy commanded. "I am ready for my next vict— customer!"

            A few more trumpets were called onto the court. The gypsy had something very funny to say for each. But then came an unexpected turn. 

            "I seek the one with the long, smooth, luscious legs," the gypsy began, making every girl in the audience uneasy, "the brunette who carries… a whistle and white leather gloves!"

            "NO WAY, MAN," was the scream from Eddie's direction. No one had caught on as fast as Eddie did. _Smooth luscious legs, hah, that was funny. The gypsy patted his lap, as if inviting Eddie into it. Eddie shook his head slowly but forcefully, with a huge smile plastered on his face, which was now a blushing shade of red. Eventually, with a little encouragement from the trumpets, Eddie went out to the gypsy. It took a little more encouragement to actually get him to sit in the gypsy's lap. This hadn't been planned, or at least Eddie had been conveniently left out of the loop. _

            The gypsy coaxed Eddie's shoe off of him, and proceeded to expect in the usual manner. This time, however, he took a big long lick of the bottom of the shoe. Gross me out! They gypsy predicted that Eddie would need a new bottle of hair remover soon, and sent his victim back to his seat. The audience nearly died laughing. The gypsy put away his sign and carried the metal chair back into the storage room outside the gym. 

            While the gypsy did this, the next group was announced. Of course, who else? Senior girls were up.


	8. Stuck Chpt 8

Senior girls were up. The girls asked Nathan to be a volunteer in their skit, and sent him out of the room. They then explained to us that Nathan would be appearing on a match making show. Three matchers were chosen from the crowd. Two freshman girls and Eddie were the selections. _Eddie? This was the beginning of a beautiful set up if I'd ever seen one before. _

            Nathan came back into the room blindfolded, and escorted by Nicole. He was led to a chair where he was plopped down and told the situation. He seemed sporting enough, although very nervous, you never know what's going to happen with band people around. The questions were asked to Nathan. He was given a question, and then the answers of the three contestants and told to choose which answer sounded the best to him. The game was rigged so that no matter what he said, Eddie would end up being his match. When the selection was made, and the blindfold was removed, the Eddie ran over to Nathan and nearly killed him of shock. The two made fun of the situation, and the crowd had a ton of good laughs. All in all, the night was turning out to be very eventful. 

            Right about the time that I stopped watching the commotion, I looked over in the direction of Mr. Stevens. The back door to the gym opened, and one of the senior boys walked in. He headed straight for Stevens, and sat in the stands next to him. Stevens leaned over, and the senior whispered something in his ear. Stevens turned and whispered something back. _Uh-oh.__ This makes me nervous. Stevens looked around in the stands. I couldn't read the expression on his face, which is something I think I can do rather well. Usually I can tell almost exactly what a person is thinking or feeling according to their eyes, especially when they're lying or trying to hide their true feelings. But his eyes didn't tell me what he was thinking, which I think made me even more nervous. _

            Stevens pointed to the door in the front of the gym, and the senior hurriedly walked out it.  Everyone in the stands was talking and laughing. I leaned over to Sidney and told her to look at Stevens. I told her I thought something was up! She told me not to stress, she was sure nothing was wrong. A moment later the same senior came back into the gym with the owner of the camp and tons of flashlights. He ran over to Stevens and again whispered something to him. Stevens stood and walked into the center of the court. 

            "All right," He screamed, trying to get us all to quiet down. "Does anyone know where Cameron is?" There was a look of worry in his eyes. No one really seemed to know where Cameron was. Stevens went on to say that we were going to form search groups to go look for Cammy, and the camp owner would help.  

            "Alright, here's what we need to do," the owner began, keeping unusually calm, "Who has been to this camp before?" All the returning members raised their hands. "Alright, sophomores I want you to follow me, and we'll check the trail on the north side. Juniors I want you to go with your director and check the trail on the South side. Seniors, go back to the cabins, start there, and check every cabin. Check every bathroom, every stall. Then make your way back to the cafeteria and check there, and all its bathrooms too. Make a loop around camp, and then come back here to the gym. Everyone stay with your groups, we don't need anyone else wandering off."

            The groups were given flashlights and then they funneled out into the darkness. We could hear them calling Cameron's name. The group of about 20 freshmen was left in the gym with the drum majors. 

            "I bet he fell asleep in his bed," Jeff said, laughing.

            "I bet her got lost trying to find a soda machine," another person offered. 

            "No, Cammy's an Eagle Scout," Nicole said. "He'll be fine." The crowd soon forgot about Cammy. Sidney started twirling flags, and got Mike to attempt it too. People told jokes, and poked fun at marching band. 

            "One time, at band camp…" Sidney teased. But Nicole Eddie and Nathan didn't laugh. They stood in a circle in the center of the court talking. They were worried, Cammy was their classmate. Besides, ever since that very first lesson when we stepped off the bus, everyone had stressed "band family". We were not part of a family, and a family member was lost. 

            The crowd seemed at ease though, everyone was out there looking, we would find him soon enough.  Just as I began to join in the fun I noticed Jo come in the room. She burst though the doors, out of breath and sweating. _What's she doing here? She's supposed to be out looking on one of the trails with the rest of the juniors!  She ran to the drum majors in the middle of the court, and whispered, as best she could through her panting, to them. I saw Nicole's eyes pop, and Nathan spun around furiously to face the crowd in the stands, but Eddie stopped him.  The drum majors and Jo talked for a second, and it looked as though they decided on something. _

            "Alright, quiet down" Eddie yelled. Jo made a quick exit out the back door, and I could hear her yelling Cammy's name.

 "Jo just informed us that Cameron had a talk with one of you freshmen about where he was going," Nicole yelled, straining to talk over some of us in the stand who were still talking.

"Hey! Quiet down or you'll all be running laps till your legs fall off," Eddie screamed, obviously infuriated that the drum majors had to talk over us. 

"Now I'm going to ask you this as nicely as I know how. Do any of you know where Cameron went?" Nicole looked very angry, but she tried to keep her voice as controlled as possible. "We're not going to get mad here, or give you any sort of punishment as long as you step forward now."  There was a pause and a few whispers trickled through the crowd. _Just tell them! What' wrong with you? They already said you won't be punished! Gees! I could see where this was going. Who ever knew was too afraid to tell._


	9. Stuck Chpt 9

"Alright, well you've all had your chance," Nathan began. "Get up out of the stands and address the line." There was a pause, and people looked around at each other, I think we were all a little confused. "NOW," Nathan yelled, and we all got up quickly. We all walked onto the court, and stood on the line that Nathan pointed to. 

"We don't like to use marching as a punishment," Eddie said. "But if you're not willing to step forward to help a family member, then we'll do what we have to do. Stand by." We all went to stand by. I was very upset now. _If this person doesn't speak up soon they'll have us at attention for hours—_

"BAND! TEN HUT," Eddie thundered.            

"HUT," replied the not so happy freshmen. We stood this way for about five minutes before a single word was passed. Already my arms hurt, they'd been hurting all night, but now I had them up in front of me, and my shoulders started to ache. The bottoms of my feet started burning, but if I concentrated on that I forgot about the pain in my arms, so I tried doing that. I noticed that I started to droop my chin, and quickly put it back up where it belonged. I wasn't going to let the pain get the best of me, whoever wasn't telling needed to fess up now! 

"Hurts, doesn't it," Nicole asked. "It'll be over just as soon as one of you steps forward and tells us what you know. Jo says that Cameron talked to one of you at great length about this little outing of his. We want to know where he is, and one of you is going to tell us, or you'll turn into statues standing just like that." _Oh no! I remembered something, __oh stupid me, stupid me!_

"Sir," I said, I think I choked as I said it, because I knew I was about to die. "Sir, I think I know something."     

"Yes," Eddie said, very angrily, but with a tone that meant "continue."

"Well, on the first day of camp, at dinner, Cameron asked Jo if she wanted to go on a hike sometime. She said no, but he looked as though he was going to go either way."

"Did he say which trail he'd be taking," Nathan demanded.

"No Sir! He just asked her if she wanted to go. That was it. Honest," I didn't think they believed that that was all I knew, but it was! _Oh they're going to kill me. _

"Jo said that Cameron talked to one of you extensively about this. Lexi, it doesn't sound like she meant you, but thank you for trying," Nicole tried to be nice, but it didn't help. I hadn't even moved my eyes when I was addressing them. I was afraid to. I saw someone twitch out of the corner of my eye. I had to catch myself, I felt myself turning to look and see who it was. 

"Mark! Give me ten! And anyone else who thinks of moving can drop along side of him," Eddie was by far the maddest of the drum majors. Nicole tried to be nice, although it was plain as day that she was furious. Nathan was more concerned with circling us, and making sure we weren't moving. Then Eddie spotted it.  

"Lexi, are you chewing gum?"

"Yes sir!"

"Are you allowed to chew gum?" 

"No sir!"

"Spit it out, and once you get back drop and give me twenty-five," Eddie was enraged. "Anyone else have gum?" About ten people raised their hands from in front of them to above their heads. "Get moving!" 

We had been standing at attention for maybe ten minutes now, we'd stood there longer before. But when I ran to the trashcan and back to my spot it was nice for my arms to have a break. In fact, even the push-ups seemed like a treat at this point, it was using a different part of my arms, and my neck wasn't killing me. I made a point of rubbing my neck before I got back up. I hoped that none of the drum majors noticed. I thought I caught a glimpse of Nicole eyeing me as I snapped back to attention, but I think she let it go. When I had been running I was able to notice where people were in the line. Sidney was just a few people down from me. Mike was at the very far end of the line. I was somewhere in the middle. Jeff was to my left. Nathan had stopped his circling by now, and stood in front of us with his arms folded across his chest. 

Jo came running back into the room. She was panting even harder now. She was almost panting too hard, I was worried about her. _She better slow down and get a drink of water. Why doesn't she just tell them which freshman it was if she knows? Jo again ran to the drum majors, who hurried around her. She tried to whisper something to them through her breathing. Eddie nodded, Nicole shook her head, and Nathan turned to glance at us who were still at attention.             _

"Anyone that moved their eyes owes me ten! Now," Nathan commanded. I probably should have done the push-ups just to give my arms and neck a break, but I had been watching using peripheral vision to watch, so I didn't move. The four continued to talk and Jo ran out of the room again. "Stand by," Nathan said, finally deciding to give us a break. It had been about twenty minutes. _Oh, I thought my arms would break off as I put them down in front of me. My feet were almost just dead weight by now. _

"We're going to start taking you out one by one for questioning," Eddie said. _Questioning? Eek, you have to be kidding me.  "This is your last chance to speak up. Do so now and you'll be fine. All we're looking for here is to get Cameron back safe and sound." A pause followed. __That terrible pause. I knew what was coming. "BAND! TEN HUT!"             _

"HUT!" I wanted to die. A senior came running into the room. Nathan yelled to one of the boys and told him to go with the senior. You could almost hear "Taps" playing in the background. Five more minutes passed and another senior came in. Another freshman was ordered to follow him out. This pattern continued for what seemed like a life time. There were about three people left in the room by the time I was left out. That meant I had been in there for about an hour. When Eddie called my name, signaling that I could leave, I thought my legs would give way. The senior who led me out of the room was none other than the one who had led me to the band garage the day of the meeting. _Oh gees. _

The senior was carrying a flashlight, and he led me down a narrow path. I had no idea where we were going. I was so scared I knew I was shaking, and I was sure the senior could hear my teeth chattering. I was freezing cold, wishing once again that I had a nice warm jacket. I wondered what they would do with me after questioning. I wondered what they would ask me while they were questioning me. Most of all I wondered where we were going, and exactly what was going to happen when I got there. We slowly found our way out to a camp fire. The entire band, except a few of the freshmen who were still in the gym, was sitting around the camp fire. The senior instructed me to find a seat near the fire. I looked around scared completely out of my mind. Then I heard my name being whispered. 


	10. Stuck Chpt 10

"Kiki! Over here, come sit by me," Sidney called. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to sit by her. I sat down and started crying. I told her I didn't know anything and she shushed me. She told me to look past the fire, to the left. All I saw was a pool noodle floating toy. _ Oh, and who else would be holding the pool noodle but Cameron. So that was it. It was all just a stupid initiation. Cameron had been warm and cozy around the fire the entire time, and I had been in that stupid gym killing myself over his having been lost. I wanted to get up and pop him one right upside the head. I was so ready to quit when I got home. __So ready. I was freezing and it took forever for the last two freshmen to be brought out. Oh, poor Mike, he was the last one in there. _

"Alright, welcome to the Chaparral Firebird Marching Band," the senior who had led me out said. "My name is Ben, as most of you know. I'm the band council president." I noticed the three drum majors were out with us now. "What you freshman just went through is induction. We have all been there. Well, not quite there, but something similar. It took a lot of courage for some of you to do that. I'm sure you're all aching. The tradition of this night has been around as long as this camp, as long as this band has been around. Next year you'll get to do it to the freshman." The senior paused now and lit a thick tall candle. It had already been used before, and had a hole burned in the middle. "What we do tonight is very special to a lot of us. If you chose not to take this seriously, please don't ruin it for the rest of us. Welcome to the candle lighting ceremony. You'll all have a chance to hold the candle, and say whatever you like, and talk for as long as you would like. I'd just like to say that you freshmen are awesome, and keep up the spirit. The years you spend in high school will fly by. Before you know it, it'll all be over, and you'll be moving on to college.

"In my four years here, if I've ever needed anything, anything at all, someone in band has always been there for me. If I needed a ride, or help on home work, or even just someone to go hang out with, the band has always been the place to go. There are good times, and there are serious times, but I hope you can all look at the band as a family. Someplace you can go to have fun, work, or escape your real family. It sure was fun messing with some of you freshmen, and I hope you're not to sore at us." His speech went on much longer, and I remember calming down quite a bit during it.  

Sidney and I rested up against each other for warmth. I remember feeling really close to her that night. We had just been through an interesting event together. I'm not sure how else to describe it. As the candle got passed, seniors began to cry, and talk about their freshman induction. Stories about playing at football games, and going to marching band competitions were abundant, it all sounded so fun. It must have been nearly midnight already, and the candle wasn't even halfway around the fire. When Jo got the candle she hardly said anything, but she was crying. When Sidney finally got the candle she said she was cold, and passed it on to me. I didn't know exactly what to say, or what to do. I still don't remember what all I said, except telling them that it sucked what they did to us. I also made a point of saying how intriguing I found it all, all the work, and the people. But when I started to say that I had never been able to connect with people the way I had this week I started to well up with tears, and passed the candle before I started crying. 

The candle continued on its way until it found its way to Eddie. Eddie gave his speech and then got up and walked towards the fire. Eddie asked everyone but the seniors to take off their name tags. He told us to hold them to our hearts, and think about everything we had experienced here at camp. Eddie told us that when we were ready we were to throw our name tags into the fire. I held on to mine for a while, before I let it go unwillingly into the fire. I watched it darken and crumble over in the heat. The names of my classmates disappeared along with mine. The seniors were allowed to keep theirs, and take it home with them. 

Stevens announced that there would be now calisthenics later this morning and breakfast would be moved back an hour. We all cheered at this announcement, and headed back to the bunks. As I turned to walk back to the cabin, I looked back for Jo.  I saw Jo and Nicole crying and hugging each other. Jo whispered into Nicole's ear, but I could read what she was saying from her lips.           

"I'm going to miss you, Nicole." The two stood, not moving, and obviously crying for a while, and I headed back to the bunk with Sidney along side me. I can't remember if we talked at all. I'm sure we did, but for some reason all I remember is silence, and not knowing what to think. I remember how cold I was, and exactly what I was wearing. I remember how it smelled of pine, and the crunching noise that could be heard all around me. I remember wishing that I could go find Mike, and sit and talk with him, but in the pitch black I knew I would never find him. I remember feeling a few drops of rain, and looking up to see the moon shinning through some of the rain clouds. The picture would have normally given me the creeps, but tonight it was beautiful.

 Just then I saw a shooting star. I made a wish. I never told anyone about the wish. No one ever knew I saw the star. It was there, and I could never forget exactly what I said to myself. I closed my eyes as I made my wish. "Star light, star bright, first star I see 


End file.
